Since I've yet to find a proper girlfriend, mom lets me use her for practice.
Mom says I excel at those hard-to-reach areas.
Since the divorce, mom runs straight to my room to relax after a stressful day.
When dad is complaining that dinner is not ready, mom is sure to be doing something else.
With my adventurous son back home for the holiday, I can hardly find a minute alone.
You'll never find anyone as devoted to the family jewels as mom.
With bro home from school over break, I'm learning all sorts of new things about him.
Don't get me wrong, I love my sister too. I just wish she wouldn't show it at family barbecues.
I have the decency to find a little privacy before fooling around with sis.
When sis needs a break on road trips, she doesn't have to say anything more.
Pit stops are the best part of any road trip with my sister.
My sister and I swapped drivers every few hours on our road trip together. In between, we also took some time to chill.
I took umbrage at my sister implying that I might be a "two-minute" man. So we devised a little test.
Sis and I are always fidgety at family barbecues.
Sometimes, my sister won't take "no" for an answer.
My sister and I just love America so much, it's hard to contain sometimes.
Mom has always been playful with me. The games have just gotten better.
Even though we're older now, I'm still looking for that sign of approval from my big sister.
My sister and I celebrate this great nation every day.
My lame bro is full of surprises.
Sis can be excruciatingly slow at times.
My aunt really loves romantic movies. And I'm starting to, too.
Her connection overseas is shit, but I still never miss a Skype session with my sister.
"So, these erections come often when you're around me, dear brother? I wonder what the cause could be..."
My step-sister accepts that I can't watch romantic movies without an outlet.
Sibling time ends abruptly when our parents come home early.
When mom finally wore the skimpy bikini I bought her on vacation, I got a little carried away.
My step-sister really gets into the romantic movies on family movie night.
When my moms got married they didn't think about how much they would miss this
Now honey, did you finish your homework? Take your pill? "Yes Daddy."
When sis and I couldn't stop bickering on our road trip, we decided to pull over and let off some steam.
My sister's roommate can be a little too chatty for my taste.
Sis shouldn't have bet on the Falcons
I had a little too much to drink last night with my niece in the house, and my wife a little too little.
"No more icky porn, Daddy. Just use my mouth."
Mom tell me if you see my sock in there
You're not Mikey... You're my step-dad!
If sis wants a ride to the mall she knows the price
When mom almost catches us then leaves the room
My son will never know how I tease him